Why, just today, you could choose among the following fascinating stories.
'The incredible moment Sky TV presenter Kay Burley grabbed a rival by the throat and pinned her to a wall'
'The bikini-clad Cambridge student arrested for attacking spectator at jelly-wrestling match'
'It's 3.30am and Amanda Holden is still clubbing in her Ascot glad rags'
And the especially mysterious:
'Quirky Cameron Diaz reveals her unusually bumpy elbow'
I, for one, ladies and gentlemen, feel richly entertained.