Nobody does it better

When it's not warning Britons about the threats to their lives and liberties posed by foreigners, Eurocrats, feminists, and recycling, the Daily Mail is a very enjoyable paper indeed.

Why, just today, you could choose among the following fascinating stories.

'The incredible moment Sky TV presenter Kay Burley grabbed a rival by the throat and pinned her to a wall'

'The bikini-clad Cambridge student arrested for attacking spectator at jelly-wrestling match'

'It's 3.30am and Amanda Holden is still clubbing in her Ascot glad rags'

And the especially mysterious:

'Quirky Cameron Diaz reveals her unusually bumpy elbow'

I, for one, ladies and gentlemen, feel richly entertained.