Wednesday, December 31, 2008

So this is the new year

Two views of the coming of 2009.

One somewhat raucously welcoming:

Friends will be round soon to share a meal and see in the New Year. I will not be sorry to see the end of 2008, a bad year for me. So at midnight when the neighbours step out on to their doorsteps and blast into the air with their shotguns and the patter of pellets on the patio signify, in this part of the world at least, that Persephone is considering her return, alcohol fuelled hope will swell for another year. -- Peter Ryley

One rather...not.

I want to keep 2008. All things considered, for me 2008 was just fine, in any case better than 2007. I just don't want this new year. Neither coming nor going. It makes me sick before I even see it. Delivery refused. Return to sender. At midnight, standing in my yard, I'm going to pelt the new year with rubbish, excrement and scraps of food. I'll cry: 'You don't deserve fireworks, not you! Get lost, bitch! Go fuck yourself!'* -- Harald Martenstein

You'll be pleased to note that we'll be avoiding either emotional extreme this year: thus, our firearms will remain safely locked away, and our rubbish and excrement...well, that'll all stay where it belongs too.

Still, seeing that 2008 brought more successes than failures (though the former seem in retrospect to have been just about as stressful as the latter) and the balance for 2009 remains unknown, I would tend a bit more toward Herr Martenstein's trepidation.

On the other hand, there might be some nice things lurking in the 365 days to come.

So, with that in mind: bring it on, bitch.

Regardless of your take on these matters, we send fond wishes for a healthy, happy and successful year to those friends of ours in the online world and outside it.

Guten Rutsch!

(* Original: 'Ich will 2008 behalten. 2008 war alles in allem okay, für mich persönlich war 2008 jedenfalls deutlich besser als 2007. Ich will dieses neue Jahr ganz einfach nicht. Nicht von vorne, nicht von hinten. Es kotzt mich an, bevor ich es überhaupt sehe. Annahme verweigert. Return to sender. Um Mitternacht werde ich das neue Jahr, im Garten stehend, mit Abfällen, Fäkalien und Essensresten bewerfen. Ich werde rufen: »Ein Feuerwerk kriegst du nicht, nicht du! Hau ab, Schlampe! Fick dich ins Knie!'

I translated, obviously, somewhat loosely and more for sense than word-for-word, as 'fuck yourself in your knee' is one German insult that rather suffers from direct translation.)


Dale said...

I am glad to see you're emerging from the recent illness and feeling peppy enough to either praise or damn the new year as the unfolding situation demands.

I'm also glad you translated the "fuck yourself in your knee" bit -- I probably would have put that in a google translator and decided that google translator needed some work. I know I would have been left scurrying over what body part is really meant in place of knee.

Thanks, and happy new year to y'all too.

Unknown said...

I presume it's the improbability of the anatomy that is supposed to make that idiom all the more...insulting.

That, or there are fetishes that even I don't want to consider.

A fine new trip round the sun to you as well, sir, and we hope to be seeing more of you in 2009.

Though feel free to keep your knees to yourself.

Wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea.