Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Cats: good eating. Alaska: not a foreign country. America: quite possibly in trouble.

As we watch the world economy--depending on your preferred metaphor--melt down, grind to a halt or implode, a little comic relief is perhaps in order.

Robert Farley, at LG&M, answers questions from concerned readers about the troubles to come.

Such as:

Dear Dr. Farley,

In view of the impending financial distress, I'm worried about my cats. Should I stock up on cat food, or will it be available in post-apocalypse America?

Thanks,

Worried in Dubuque

Dear Worried in Dubuque,

No. You should concentrate on stocking up on firearms, clean water, and canned goods. Cat food will most certainly not be available in post-apocalypse America; any housecats will only be a drain on your resources. Your cats should be eaten at the first opportunity, followed by the eating of any surplus cat food. Most such food is edible by humans, and while you may be tempted to "fatten up" your cats, much of the energy in the cat food is lost when its eaten by the cat.

This is certainly information that we can all use, whether we own cats ourselves or have nearby neighbours with these handy food sources delightful animal companions.

Then, there is the humour to be had via the ever-amusing Katie'n'Sarah show.

In this week's episode, Sarah not only explains to us the 'vast variety of sources' from which she gets her news, but also reassures us that Alaska is 'not a foreign country' (even if its proximity to foreign countries, remember, like totally gives her international policy experience):




(via Dale)

There are, incidentally, reports that hitherto unaired footage from Couric's chat (which, for pure entertainment value, is turning out to be The Best Political Interview Ever) shows Palin drawing a blank on any Supreme Court decisions other than Roe v. Wade.

If it's true, I'm surprised: as an advocate of teaching creationism in schools, one would think that the name Kitzmiller would somehow have stuck in her head.

But perhaps it wasn't covered in the 'vast variety' of sources Palin regularly consulted.

I'm looking forward to the debate tomorrow night (by which I mean catching up with it on Friday via the intertubes). But I also in some ways dread what will follow. Palin, it is clear, is pretty much out of her depth on...well, so far, on anything I've heard her talk about.

But I suspect that her handlers might have finally realised that there's no way they can turn her into a plausible policy wonk, so what we'll see from her on Thursday is a lot of folksy 'authenticity' mixed with frontier-girl charm (and a hefty dose of anti-'elitist' posturing) that will say nothing resembling anything to do with the questions or the key problems facing the world.

But as long as she doesn't start drooling and can avoid too many a deer-in-headlights moments, I think it's possible that a part of the media will decide that she 'beat expectations' or 'held her own'.

We've seen this. Remember?

The future certainly looks bright.

Here, kitty kitty....

4 comments:

Francis Sedgemore said...

I can't wait to see the Palin-Biden debate, even if it brings out the schadenfreudliche aspect to my character.

In the meantime, check out this Chicago Trib piece.

You are probably right about low expectations, as is Robert Farley about cat food. However, I'm not sure about the nutritional value of cats. Being lazy, freeloading little shits, cats have little meat on them. They're all fat, bone and bad attitude.

Geoff Coupe said...

Palin is truly jaw-dropping. I'm getting nostalgic for the days of Spitting Image and Ronald (the President's Brain is Missing) Reagan. Sample:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6roPdMDtGKA

Geoff Coupe said...

And then there's the Ronald and Nancy show by Spitting Image:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iel8rWheNQw ...

J. Carter Wood said...

Hi Francis, nice to hear from you.

I had just seen the Trib story, and feel a certain sense of home-town pride about such a tremendous work of art.

And I would only ever consider a cat as a source of emergency food, don't worry. Starvation might make fat, bone and bad attitude sound downright appealing.

Thanks for the links Geoff. I am familiar with Spitting Image, but it's been a while...

G'night y'all.