Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Splendidly unangry? Bollocks!

See, this is what I mean: here I am, calm as a yogi after two weeks without the internet, and I'm in a frenzy after two minutes with the Pail online. But then, what kind of a crap headline is this:

MoD apologises to harassed lesbian soldier as her 6ft 2in German girlfriend looks on.

Oh yezz, those gigantesque German lesbians prowling the streets of merry old England, programmed to pluck innocent English roses fresh from their military training in North Yorkshire. The, until now secret, inhumane products of uncanny WWII experiments involving the use of radioactivity and Ovaltine, carried out in secret subterranean laboratories by merciless doctors with scarred faces, wearing eye-patches (or optional monocle) and riding boots and sporting a maniacal laugh, now threatening to unsettle English life as it has hitherto been known.

And they fly planes for Lufthansa (or Luftwaffe, as my late mother-in-law would have put it). Oh, the world going to hell in a hand basket ....

Dammit, the anger seems to be back. So much for getting work done!

3 comments:

canada said...

"The, until now secret, inhumane products of uncanny WWII experiments involving the use of radioactivity and Ovaltine..."

I'm sorry, but has anybody ever told you how beautiful you are when you are angry?

The Wife said...

"I'm sorry, but has anybody ever told you how beautiful you are when you are angry?"

Is this a quote from a film?

canada said...

I don't know if it's a line from a film (sounds like one) but it's definitely pilfered.