Octoborg

I love it when humble invertebrates confirm the precepts and propositions of contemporary "theory". Like these here Indonesian octopuses (yes, that's right, puses) who - with their sophisticated use of coconut halves as sleigh-like contraptions - seem to subscribe to Donna Haraway's wildest prosthetic fantasies:



Transhumanity affirmed by cephalopods! Cyborg theory lives!

Obviously, this news item calls for an appropriate soundtrack. It's so quiet in the blue deep:

Einstürzende Altbauten, or: "Shallow Monday"

I wish I wasn't as braindead as I am at the moment. All I seem to be able to stomach, mentally, is basic slapstick:

Splendidly unangry? Bollocks!

See, this is what I mean: here I am, calm as a yogi after two weeks without the internet, and I'm in a frenzy after two minutes with the Pail online. But then, what kind of a crap headline is this:

MoD apologises to harassed lesbian soldier as her 6ft 2in German girlfriend looks on.

Oh yezz, those gigantesque German lesbians prowling the streets of merry old England, programmed to pluck innocent English roses fresh from their military training in North Yorkshire. The, until now secret, inhumane products of uncanny WWII experiments involving the use of radioactivity and Ovaltine, carried out in secret subterranean laboratories by merciless doctors with scarred faces, wearing eye-patches (or optional monocle) and riding boots and sporting a maniacal laugh, now threatening to unsettle English life as it has hitherto been known.

And they fly planes for Lufthansa (or Luftwaffe, as my late mother-in-law would have put it). Oh, the world going to hell in a hand basket ....

Dammit, the anger seems to be back. So much for getting work done!

Vikings would prefer a coffin

There seems to be a bit of a Viking-theme to our sojourn in London. Over the past week, we have not only had the chance to speak to various real and quasi-Danes dwelling on this windswept island. We've also seen an unusual amount of English-speakers wearing t-shirts displaying the "Bevar Christiana" slogan. And in addition to the anglo support of the anarchist free state near Copenhagen (what's going on here, I wonder - have I missed something?), we also seem to be surrounded by non-activist Danish tourists who fill the mucky London air with their charming analstaltic voiced consonants and glottal stops.

Which is why this Süddeutsche-interview with the chairman of Forn Sidr, the Danish Viking community, is not only an apt and timely commentary on what appears to be a general trend, but might be of genuine interest to some of our readers. It is comforting to see that the Danish authorities seem to take the religious needs of this minority entirely seriously, even allocating a part of the graveyard in Odense (birthplace of Hans Christian Andersen, the author of tales like "The Little Mermaid" and others) as a burial site for staunch believers in Thor and Freya.

This opens up an entirely new dimension of religious tolerance, if you ask me. But then these Vikings not only seem to be perfectly harmless - they also, charmingly, do not seem to have a concept of hell. Which might have positive ramifications for the way Vikings see life in the here and now, too.