'You are John Carter of Earth?'

Why, yes I am!

But this guy's experiences bear only a glancing similarity with my own.

More John Carter Videos

But I remember, from my youth, his books and comics, and I've blogged about him before.

And man, does Mars look hostile.

Hebbo! And greetings from Universe B!

Thanks to Boing Boing, I have discovered something important: the world's fastest growing religion, Tarvuism.

Like you, probably, I was a bit confused, as I'd never heard of it before. However, they have statistics, so it must be true.

Who is Tarvu and what is Tarvuism, you might ask?

Well...

Tarvu - creator of Universe A and Universe B (we live in Universe B) - came to Earth over 3,000 years ago as a tiny baby boy. After landing in the oceans, and swimming with Oobu the holy octopus, Tarvu came ashore and lived amongst men and women so that he could teach them "to live". Soon his Word spread, and that Word became Tarvuism.

Tarvuism is one of the oldest and largest religions in the world, with over 1 billion followers in over 150 countries - from afar as Iceland to Timonia - speaking as many languages. As Tarvu said "Every land is nice, and everyone who lives there is nice too". (Chronicles of Amzamiviram, Cpt 44).

(Source: www.tarvu.com)

I am considering becoming a member, not least since -- as the following video emphasises -- 'it's so easy to join'.




Sounds like fun!

Further information available at www.tarvu.com!

But in case you think Tarvuism is a bit...strange (I mean, thinking that octopi are 'holy creatures' is maybe not for everyone, yeah, I can see that), you may wish to consider instead the wisdom of Blossom Goodchild. (Via Spiegel)

Goodchild not only brings wisdom to the masses by channelling the spirit of White Cloud, 'a native American spirit energy' but has also foretold the arrival of alien beings from the 'Federation of Light' who are due to arrive in the skies above Earth (specifically, perhaps, to Alabama)...well, today.

There has been some confusion in the message (interstellar space is a vast distance, why should we expect it to work any better than your basic cell phone, eh? Cynics...).

Blossom explains:

I think I may have put a spanner in the works by saying 'Alabama isn't in the Southern Hemisphere'. Mind you, the reply The Federation gave me 'It used to be' ... it seems was, true! However, it seems many have misread the letter and are assuming that the ship will appear in Alabama. The Federation DO NOT say this. They say 'We give to you the name of Alabama'. Here are some thoughts I have received as to its meaning.

1. The only thing comes to mind is "Stars fell on Alabama". This motto is printed on car license tags in the state of Alabama.

2. I was very interested in hearing of the October 14th date, I have longed for this for so long. In 1999 I saw quite a few UFO's in Adelaide and on several occasions and one of them was what I assumed was a light ship because it was like a ghost, the ship was say 60 feet in diameter and white, but the middle had a band of all the colours of the rainbow. Later I went to a psychic and he told me that Adelaide used to be a space port around 50 000 years ago. As soon as I read the words in the October 14th article "In days of old, it used to be" I immediately thought that Alabama might be the name of the old space port in Adelaide.

Not content with such superficial thinking, Blossom considers a deeper possibility:

8. Maybe the Credence Clearwater Revival song, 'Sweet Home Alabama' may be of some help - 'Sweet Home Alabama, Lord I'm Coming Home To You.... Where The Skies Are Blue....' Isn't Australia lovingly nicknamed 'Gods own Country?'

Of course, 'Sweet Home Alabama' was a song by Lynyrd Skynyrd, but who's going to split hairs over southern rockers over the lightyears? Not me!

Hebbo! and welcome to our new intergalactic friends, I say.

The future, my friends, is looking brighter.

Do not worry.

Tarvu abides.