If you can't be bothered to read the article in its complex totality, here's my favourite bit (clearly based on the author's recent viewing of 28 Days Later):
Three years ago, a pack of Russian black squirrels bit to death a stray dog in a Russian park. They were said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.Gory!
Note how the article does not even bother to mention that the poor little grey victims of these ruthless post cold war killers (which probably all go by the name of "Vladimir") are themselves not exactly innocent. After all, these highly reproductive (and apparently very meaty) Yank critters -- cutely disneyesque though they may appear, with their little tuftless ears and biiiiig eyes -- are responsible for the long standing squirrelcide that has all but driven the indigenous red type from its natural habitats in Britain.