Monday, August 25, 2008

Following the herd down to Greece...

And now, a brief word from Konstantinos Lagoudakis, mayor of Malia on the island of Crete:

'They scream, they sing, they fall down, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit.'
Who might 'they' be?

Bet you'd never guess...

9 comments:

Chris Brooke said...

And here's a good Festival-themed joke:

Q: Why is Edinburgh called the Athens of the North?

A: Because of all the English people throwing up everywhere.

J. Carter Wood said...

Excellent. Sure to be appearing on a tourism brochure any time now.

Nice to hear from you Chris. Hope all's well.

Francis Sedgemore said...

The NYT article explains all. It's New Labour's fault, so Mayor Lagoudakis is wasting his time saying that "The government of Britain has to do something."

Having seen similar behaviour in a whole number of British city centres and market towns, what's happening in Malia doesn't shock me at all. But what I fail to understand is how a 21 year-old Essex man who has consumed...

"five beers; six specialty drinks combined with Baileys, tequila, absinthe, ouzo, vodka, gin and orange juice; five vodka and lime drinks; and then five cans of Stella Artois"

...can possibly perform with the young lady that all this alcohol "emboldened" him to pick up. Is he really so inadequate as to require such extreme lubrication?

What has happened to charm, which is easily learned and costs nothing?

J. Carter Wood said...

It may be that Mr. L. was referring to that potential government that seems likely (for the moment anyway)to replace New Labour sometime soonish. It may be that the verb tense got somewhat garbled in translation.

Maybe not. Though what, in any case, said government should 'do' about the way its citizens carry on while abroad is not clear to me.

I did, however, like one of the other Greek comments in the article:

“I think that in their country, they are like prisoners and they want to feel free,” said Niki Pirovolaki, who works in a bakery on Malia’s main street and often encounters addled Britons heading back to their hotels — “if they can remember where they are staying,” she said.

'Like prisoners'. Aww, bless 'em.

Being hated by other nations is bad enough. Being pitied by them...now, that's got to hurt.

I wondered something similar as you regarding that Essex lad's potential performance problems. But I suppose the answer to your question about his inadequacy would be...yes.

As to charm: well, in my experience it's something that has long been in rather short supply.

Perhaps especially in Essex.

J. Carter Wood said...

It occurs to me that -- in the interests of fairness -- I should perhaps point out that there are Britons who manage to enjoy Greece while keeping their far more decent, indeed "bloody bourgeois", sensibilities intact.

Happy travels this week, Herr Plump.

The Wife said...

It probably wasn't real absinthe ....

canada said...

"They scream, they sing, they fall down, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit."

You know as well as every other American (and American ex-pat) that all of this begins with cross-dressing. That's where the wolf gets its foot in the door. It's ungodly, man. Just look at the symptoms to follow. These children are bewitched.

Remember Salem!

J. Carter Wood said...

You know, you may be on to something.

The latest in British (not German)men's fashion appears to be...tights.

Also here.

(Both references thanks to The Wife.)

Might this be the beginning of a path of pagan debauchery whose only end can be the Wickerman?.

Kris said...

Nazi squirrels?